SEC Power Poll- Week 6

1. Alabama

Some will criticize this group for the close game against Kentucky. Even though it was a sloppy performance, I don’t see how it outweighs beating ranked teams and starting 6-0.

2. LSU

Lesticles vs Tebow’s amazing circumcision powers. Who ya got?

3. Georgia

Mark Richt’s offense might have a few problems with Tennessee’s defense. The good news is that his defense won’t have so many problems against Tennessee’s offense.

4. Vanderbilt

Vanderbilt might be the only team I know that can improve with an injured Quarterback. Very impressive comeback by the ‘Dores.

5. Florida

Even though the Gators beat Arkansas by a wide margin, they still seemed to struggle until the 4th quarter. They can’t pull that kind of stuff against LSU.

6. Auburn

I would say something sarcastic and cutting about Auburn, but I’m not sure if their fans can handle that right now. Their current state of mind isn’t something I want to mess with right now.

7. Kentucky

Kentucky probably won’t win the SEC East, but they sure will give a few folks some problems.

8. South Carolina

Great road win for the Gamecocks. I was starting to worry about the psyche of gamecock fans around the world.

9. Ole Miss

This is a really tricky team to put your finger on. Their trip to Tuscaloosa should still be an interesting match-up.

10. Tennessee

Personally, I am expecting to see the Vols play much better towards the end of the year. Nick Stephens isn’t a Heisman candidate, but he was serviceable against NIU.

11. Mississippi State

The Croom machine could actually catch Vanderbilt off-guard on Saturday.

12. Arkansas

WOOOOO! PIG SOUIEE! WOOOOOO! PIG SOUIEE! WOOOOO! PIG SOUIEE!! RAZORBACKS! Sorry, I figured the hog fans out there needed something to lift their spirits.

SEC Power Poll- Week 5

1. Alabama

I doubt the drunkest Kool-Aid drinker expected that first half performance. Best resume thus far, although I hope we can keep it going.

2. LSU

A very talented team deserving of their ranking. Still, I do wonder about the amount of points they’ve given up to two of the worst SEC offenses.

3. Georgia

Someone needs to make a movie about that game. They could get Sonny Seiler to be in it! Wouldn’t that be original?

4. Ole Miss

Heck, they deserve a little love this week. First SEC win since sliced bread was created.

5. Florida

Tebow tried to toss his helmet in disgust, but an Ole Miss defender ran up and swatted it away before it could pass the 31 yard line.

6. Auburn

Did Tony Franklin’s comments after the game remind anyone else of Silas from The Da Vinci Code?

7. Vanderbilt

The Ole Miss victory looks better, although I am still not sure about having Vanderbilt ranked in the Top 20 just yet. Prove me wrong Commies, prove me wrong…

8. Kentucky

Rich Brooks figures the best way to attract Kentucky fans to Tuscaloosa is the promise of a shirtless Patrick Patterson leading the team onto the field.

9. Tennessee

Let’s make a golf comparison: Jon Crompton is a Driver in a Putter’s world. Little nuances of the game don’t matter as long as you can get the ball there as hard as you possibly can.

10. South Carolina

The game wasn’t as close as the score indicated. I am not sure how the game in Oxford will go for the Gamecocks.

11. Mississippi State

MSU caught LSU asleep for part of the game. Their defense has given up 38 and 34 points in back-to-back games.

12. Arkansas

I see Arkansas fans waking up early for their football games… the ones that are televised.

SEC Power Poll

1. Georgia

Nice victory in the desert. I think they should have enough motivation, but Richt seems to think some black jerseys will make the difference. We’ll see.

2. Florida

I doubt there have ever been so many circumcision and fat jokes made in the same location in the history of mankind.

3. LSU

The Fighting Tigers of Red Stick have a QB after all.

4. Alabama

Odd fact: Nick Saban has now beaten Arkansas in 4 different cities (Baton Rouge, Little Rock, Tuscaloosa, and Fayetteville).

5. Auburn

The offense did look better, but being outscored 23-7 in the 2nd half usually leads to a loss.

6. Vanderbilt

I used this before, but it fits for this moment:

The new phone book’s here! The new phone book’s here! This is the kind of spontaneous publicity I need. My name in print. That really makes somebody. Things are going to start happening to me now!- Steve Martin

7. Tennessee

For such a hyped up game, it ended up being a rather boring affair. Fulmer could be in a world of hurt if he doesn’t turn this around.

8. Ole Miss

Ole Miss fans 2 week ago- “Jevan Snead might just be the best QB in the SEC!”

Ole Miss fans today- “Jevan Snead stinks!”

9. Kentucky

Battle #2 for in-state domination against Western Kentucky.

10. South Carolina

I wish I could make a funny remark, but I am really at a loss when it comes to this team.

11. Arkansas

Hey, at least Casey Dick had 3 Touchdown passes. Two of them were to the opponent, but let’s not get worked up about who we’re tossing it to since Arkansas needs something to build from.

12. Mississippi State

Should we start the Croom Death Clock now? Ouch!

SEC Power Poll

1. Georgia

Need to step it up a bit. Arizona State lost to UNLV, but the Bulldogs need to be careful for their longest road trip in years.

2. Florida

Tebow took a break this weekend, electing to save only 4 or 5 people from burning buildings.

3. LSU

LSU’s first REAL test is coming up this weekend. Insert Tigers vs. Tigers joke here.

4. Alabama

Good win, although that was a big mismatch. Let’s hope we don’t have a Tulane performance against Arkansas.

5. Auburn

Offense was horrid. Where did those hard hats come from? (see Sen’Derrick Marks after the game)

6. Vanderbilt

“I’ve got to keep breathing. It’ll be my worst business mistake if I don’t.” – Steve Martin

7. Tennessee

Crompton was up and down. Arian Foster needs the ball more, assuming he can keep it in his arms.

8. Ole Miss

So-So performance against Samford, a team that isn’t known for playing it close against Div-IA teams.

9. South Carolina

There’s always Wofford.

10. Kentucky

I’m still not sure what to make of this Wildcats squad. Some bigger tests are on the horizon.

11. Arkansas

Arkansas seems to play poorly until the last 10 minutes of a game. Let’s see what happens when a conference opponent comes to town.

12. Mississippi State

I’m not sure what goals MSU’s offense had for this season, but it looks like scoring isn’t one of them.

SEC Power Poll- One Week Down

A little bit of house-keeping for the SEC Power Poll. First, we have a new header. It still has that new header smell. Second, we have an official website, set up by Glenn from A Sea of Blue. You can check it out at SEC Power Poll.

Ok, here is my first official ballot.

1. Georgia

A blowout that technically wasn’t a blowout. Still, those last few TDs were given up at the very end by the lower string players. A solid performance overall for the #1 team in America.

2. LSU

For a team with a Division I-AA Quarterback, their performance was almost flawless.

3. Florida

I’ll put them in the 3rd spot, even though I have a few questions on defense. Tim Tebow and company are my pick for SEC East champs, and they did not disappoint against the Warriors.

4. Alabama

Vic Koenning: “Somebody set up us the bomb!”

Nick Saban: “All your Escalades are belong to us.”

5. Auburn

Chris Todd…. the door is to your left. See to it that you keep it from slamming into your hind-quarters.

6. South Carolina

With Nutt and Dick no longer working together, it appear that Smelley and ‘Cocks are the main filth joke for SEC fans everywhere. To be honest, I doubt South Carolina would have it any other way.

7. Tennessee

“Claw-Fense”…. you know it’s good when you have to give it a nickname in order to sell it to the fans.

8. Kentucky

The power of football has shifted in the state of Kentucky. Rich knows this, any could retire “on top” in the eyes of the Wildcat faithful.

9. Ole Miss

Round 2 of SEC vs. ACC: Ole Miss vs. Wake Forest. Houston’s gonna kick himself some Demon Deacon Butt, Giggity!

10. Vanderbilt

Instead of giving you actual commentary, I will provide you with Steve Martin quotes throughout the season describing how Vanderbilt should be feeling at this very moment. They beat Miami, OH, something most people thought they would not accomplish.

The new phone book’s here! The new phone book’s here! This is the kind of spontaneous publicity I need. My name in print! That really makes me somebody. Things are going to start happening to me now!

As “Navin R. Johnson” in The Jerk (1979)

11. Arkansas

They very well could have the worst season in the SEC, but because they actually won, they get to avoid the bottom row for now. ULM is next…. stay on your toes gentlemen.

12. Mississippi State

Croom got “Croomed”, something that I thought was impossible.

Funny question: if Croom gets “Croomed”, does an alternate universe open up where Phil Fulmer weighs 170 lbs, Nick Saban makes $300,000, and Les Miles has a Ph. D from Cornell in English Literature? It just seems like such an anomaly.

SEC Power Poll 2.0

The SEC Power Poll is back in action! Be sure to visit Garnet and Black Attack for the final results later in the week.

Even though we will continue with last year’s format, we’re abandoning the pre-season poll to present a ranking of the coaches.

You know tempers could flair since we’re grading the coaches. Let’s be honest, we tend to focus our hatred of other teams through the coaches, so this will probably be an extremely biased pool of polls, (heck, that should include the poll below this paragraph). I’m probably just uncomfortable doing this because I think it is harder to accurately rank coaches, as apposed to teams.

Anywho, is is my attempt at actually ranking the coaches.

1. Mark Richt- He’s a good guy, although I would recommend some sunscreen in the future.

In all seriousness, he is probably the best overall once you take into account every aspect of his coaching. He’s confident, but humble. He can recruit, but he doesn’t have a bad reputation on the trail. He knows when to take the reigns, and when to let somebody else lead. Plus, all of the women in my family love the guy, so I gotta say he’s good to keep them from telling me otherwise (just joking). All he needs to do now is produce, because the wave of public opinion could change if he doesn’t.

2. Steve Spurrier- This seems like a natural reaction, must like sneezing when you walk into a dusty room. You feel so uncomfortable for the moment, but you’d rather just get it out of the way so you can return to normalcy. Even though Steve Superior has seen better days on the field, he’s still got what it takes to transform an offense into a Goliath. Even though his teams may have less talent due to geography, his X’s and O’s make him a threat every time he graces the opposite sideline.

3. Urban Meyer- Urbz has had success at a many different schools, something that should be noticed. He’s got a good eye for talent, and has been active in keeping a good coaching staff in Gainesville. Still, he isn’t perfect, and I do feel like he will slide back a little once Tebow runs off to Laos to circumcise baby pandas following his college career.

4. Nick Saban- Some will call me a homer for putting him over coaches with better records last year. Others will ridicule me for ranking him lower than three other coaches. I think Saban is a great program builder, but he does have his fair share of coaching weaknesses.

One can legitimately argue that Saban is the best at building infrastructure, something I won’t back down from. But, I do worry from time to time about the calls he approves. Are there better X’s and O’s coaches in the league? Yes. But you must respect him for his ability to rebuild a down program from the bottom up. 2 SEC championships and a BCS title in 5 years is as good a run as you’ll get from any coach on this list.

5. Tommy Tuberville- Question for the world: If everyone claims you’re underrated, are you in fact “underrated”? I think he’s a very good coach, but let’s me honest, he’s only a top notch coach when he is coaching against teams he should lose to. I respect him, but I do feel that people tend to just overlook his flops as a big favorite. Tis the curse of Tubs I suppose.

But give the man his due. He went from the brink of the pink slip to a perfect season. He likes tough defense, and it is hard to not respect that in such a conference. Plus, he knows what it takes to please his fan base, and he has delivered 6 years running.

6. Phil Fulmer- Big recruiter in a state not known for high school talent. He’s taken Tennessee to to promised land, having also given them 2 SEC titles. Still, in terms of pure coaching moves, I think his problems have been his assistants over the last few years. Good head coaches now when to cut the cord, and sometimes I wonder if Phil really knows when (other than to save his butt from a 5-6 season).

7. Les Miles- Gasp! An Alabama fan ranking Les low on a coaching poll?! Surely you jest!

He’s feisty, he knows how to use talent, and he is always good for a quote. Still, you have to wonder when his abnormal play calls in crunch time will finally backfire on him. LSU has been in a position the last 8 years to lock down their state, something that can’t be broken too easily. I think he realizes this, and is smart enough to use that talent to draw in good assistants, who continue to draw in more talent. Heck, he’ll probably be the only coach in the next 10 years to lose his last regular season game and get into the BCS title game (I don’t view conference title games as true regular season games).

8. Houston Nutt- Every is picking Ole Miss as the dark horse in the SEC. Sure, they have some good talent there, but a lot of people are doing so based on Houston Nutt. I have to be honest, I think he’s a very good coach, and is somebody that can catch you by surprise.

He’s been to the SEC title game multiple times, and has yet to really deliver a title or a BCS game, something that everyone above him has been able to do. I think he’s good, but he has yet to reach that plateau.

9. Rich Brooks- Brooks have had a resurgence as of late, something that I respect. Still, he might be looking to retire soon, and I wonder how much his heart will be in it with Joker right behind him.

10. Sylvester Croom- Some will say I am disrespecting Croom for posting him this low. Yet, even though I respect the heck out of this guy for the job he’s done, I really don’t think he’s been very good at preparing for MSU post-2007. Yes, they won 8 games, but they were in rather unimpressive fashion. Take that into account with his rather unimpressive assistant coaching staff (replacing a Ellis Johnson with a Charlie Harbison in particular), and you may seem the bulldogs fall back a few steps.

11. Bobby Johnson- I truly don’t know what to say for Bobby other than he really needs to get Vanderbilt over the hump soon, because even the ‘Dores aren’t going to accept almost after almost for too much longer.

12. Bobby Petrino- I have to be honest, I have no clue what to do with Bobby Petrino. I should apologize to Hog fans, because I don’t want them to think I’ve intentionaly ranked him last based on his depature from Atlanta. I just think that out of all of the coaches on this list, he has the least SEC experience, something that can really test a coach. I think he’s an offensive talent, but I do wonder about that defense. I’m really hoping to see him in action before forming a true opinion.

Alabama Fans and College

So a few weeks ago I posted a piece discussing college football fans and their college education. So, after having 52 different votes, here are the results from the related poll:

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