What Will I Do?!

After years days of speculation, Brett Favre is finally put down forced into retirement. Alone and dejected, John Madden prepares to deliver his speech at……… whatever party the NFL will throw for #4.

Madden: It’s ok, It’s ok, It’s ok……….. IT IS NOT OK! Oh gosh……… what I am gonna do with myself? Brett was the reason I made myself get up every morning. Heck, he was the reason I signed that friggin’ contract with NBC. I can’t take having to share dinner with Al Michaels every season! All he does is inject botox and scream “Do you believe in miracles!?” NO I DON’T MIKE, BECAUSE THE BEST TORSO IN FOOTBALL IS NO MORE!? *sobs*

*knock knock* Mr. Madden, you have 15 minutes until your speech.

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A Day on the Crimson Caravan

*Sitting in the driver’s seat of a jumbo sized RV, we find Alabama Athletic Director Mal Moore wearing a worn truckers hat while humming along with C.W. McCall’s classic tune Convoy*

Mal: Con-voy! *inhales* Yes sir, the open road has never looked so good! I’m glad I could get out of the office for a few days to enjoy the great state of Alabama. On to Mobile!

*stumbling forward due to a bumpy ride, Nick Saban quickly plops down into the passenger’s seat*

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My Gosh, We’ve Sunk So Low….

A friend of mine sent me a link to the following:

Some thoughts:

  • I’m afraid of what a McCainiac actually does with their free time
  • What, Hill-Rod couldn’t afford another tear down her cheek?
  • Barack……………… that was the lamest thing I’ve ever heard. Seriously man, you’re making this dorky white guy feel uncomfortable.
  • McCain would’ve won my vote if he had done the following: A) Actually given us a better acting job. B) inserted a random Ric Flair “WOOO!” just before he body slammed Tim Russert through the nearest table.
  • Question for Hillary: Is that your toughest looking scarf?
  • Barack apparently changed his named to Bareck. I appreciate Senator McCain for informing us all.
  • Obama, I’ve given this a lot of thought…… that was STILL the lamest thing I’ve ever heard. You seem like the kind of guy to eat discount corn flakes in the morning in total silence, only to utter “Now for the bran muffin” once you finish your cereal.

Don’t Panic Alabama, The PapaJohns.com Bowl Returns!

Rejoice citizens of Alabama, for today is the day we finally learn the fate of our craptacular wonderful bowl game. The PapaJohns.com Bowl is returning (HT: AL.com)!

Yes, thanks to the public outcry from…. uh, groups, the Papa John’s franchise has decided to support Legion Field and its surrounding areas. Thank goodness, because I was under the impression that absolutely no one wanted anything to do with this bowl.

Where would I ever get such an idea?

The annual match-up between C-USA and the Big East will probably continue to draw low numbers as it grows with time. Still, if ESPN regional is willing to burn spend its money for this event, I guess there isn’t much else to say in this matter.

There aren’t a ton of people outside of the Universities (just a guess) who know what PapaJohns.com is for, much less use it. It’s a nothing bowl with a .com title, which usually lowers the value of whatever it is associated with in the world of sports.

The Required Final Four Post

roy.jpg Roy: Golly gosh! I sure am glad to get North Carolina back to the Final Four. Now I can focus on winning another National Title so I can cement a great legacy in Chapel Hill.

*Telephone rings*

Roy: Oh hey, the phone is ringin’. Must be a newspaper guy wantin’ to profile old Roy. *picks up phone* Hello?

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Motivating The Base

I have to admit, I really don’t have much to say today. So laugh………. I SAID LAUGH!


I’d Like To Buy A Vowel