Your New Auburn Coach? Gene Chizik

I was so depressed after the SEC championship game, so much that my laptop decided to give its last goodbye as it went to the PC afterlife. Then I saw the news that Auburn hired Gene Chizik, aka Coach New Coke.


Does that confuse you? I’ll explain.

The Coca-Cola company changed its original formula many years ago. They feared that their brand was starting to become stale and irrelevant in the marketplace. They wanted to excite a new generation of consumers, so they decided it was time to “insert” some new energy into the Coke brand.

They forgot the fact that the Original Coke was the one that got them to where they were as a program. Even though its simple style was showing signs of possibly falling in popularity, it was still a proven winner as a product and brand. But, the head men running the Coca-Cola company felt that a preemptive move would stave off any decline in the Coke brand.

Auburn University has hired New Coke to coach their football team. Jay Jacobs, Bobby Lowder, and the Board of Trustees were afraid that Auburn football would be steamrolled by Nick Saban and the other high profile SEC coaches, causing their program to fall in stature and quality. So, they gracefully “retired” Coke Classic, AKA Tommy Tuberville, and brought in Gene Chizik, AKA New Coke.

He’s very similar to Coke Classic: Great Defensive Coordinator for a National Champion, runs a below average offense, and has a hard last name to spell. But, he’s younger than Coke Classic, and came about just because a group of older gentlemen with white hair wanted change for changes sake.

Tommy will continue to take the path that Coke Classic will take……… to a certain degree. Tubs probably won’t return like Coke Classic*, but he will become appreciated a great deal more because of this ordeal. Likewise, Chizik seems to be picking up where New Coke left off; being heavily criticized by the media and consumers (Auburn fans) alike. It seems ironic that this has happened in the south, a region that played a major factor in New Coke’s demise.

I could be wrong about all of this when it is all said and done about Gene Chizik’s tenure as the Auburn head coach. New Coke did stick around to become Coke II, but it eventually faded into obscurity. I’d rather be somewhat wrong, because I don’t want this rivalry to fade into the doldrums yet again.

Auburn will give him time, they have no choice at this point. He’ll probably land some solid defensive recruits, but you have to wonder what the offensive talent in this state  thinks of this hire. Time will tell, so we’ll just have to wait and see. Good luck to ya CNC.

*to Auburn that is

4 Responses to “Your New Auburn Coach? Gene Chizik”

  1. Scott Says:

    Thanks druid,

    as a tiger fan i figured you guys would feel sorry for us rather than make fun of us with this latest debacle. I was actually hoping things would be different this time….but i was wrong… I have to go through my 30’s with terrible football

  2. 3rd Down H-Back Says:

    You’re right on target.

  3. Lindsy Develice Says:

    aibc led grow lights view publisher site

  4. master plumber Says:

    It’s obvious that this man is not right in the head, and this is before we introduced Ellen Page.

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