Tony Franklin’s America

  • In Tony Franklin’s America, we enjoy freedom as Americans. Our forefathers fought for our right to be able to speak freely.
  • In Tony Franklin’s America, we eat nails and spit bullets as Osama and his gang quiver like sissy men in their caves. Why must we do it? In the TF America, we answer that by asking who else has the balls to do so?
  • In Tony Franklin’s America, we mock other coaches for their rough edges and ability to rub people the wrong way, even though we appear to be guilty of it ourselves*. We are Americans after all.
  • In Tony Franklin’s America, we send our fans to brag about our ability to score against the likes of Oklahoma State and Georgia, even though a Mike Shula playbook scored 31 points and we lost thanks to costly turnovers.
  • In Tony Franklin’s America, we recruit the best, while the rest run away in fear**.
  • And finally…. in Tony Franklin’s America, we bring a dynamic style that will revolutionize the world. For $275, you can too.

*See Kentucky tenure and “Fourth Down and Life To Go”

**Rest may actually include arrogant, over the top “All-American” babies.

This post is in fact a poor attempt at satire, but I have things to do and so little time to do it in.


3 Responses to “Tony Franklin’s America”

  1. crimson daddy Says:

    When we don’t let our assistant coaches speak freely….the terrorists have won.

  2. Kirby Smart Speaks « The Tide Druid Says:

    […] Comments crimson daddy on Tony Franklin’s Ame…tmc1 on The Crimson and White Rou…TideDruid on The Crimson and […]

  3. tmc1 Says:

    In Tony Franklin’s Amerika, everyone worships at the feet of the cowdung fuhrer Tommy Tuberville.
    ——-Soap and water and combs, are optional.
    ——-There is no such thing as shamless self promotion.
    ——-There is no such thing as a refund.
    ——–The women love the smell of 3 day old b.o. masked in Brute 33.
    ——–The spread will rule the SEC ….750 yards a game *gauranteed
    And in Tony Franklin’s “Amerika” the Auburn faithful goosestep to the accolades of Herr Tuberville’s new 1,000 year reich. Propaganda courtesy of Field Marshall Phil Marshall.

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