LSU-“We’ll Make Alabama Pretty!”

Not to steal Al C. Hemist’s thunder, but this is too funny to pass up. (Linkage)

I am putting together a little biological warfare scheme for the Alabama game, and I need everyone to help spread the word!

Here’s the deal: Get as many people as possible who are going to Tuscaloosa for the LSU/ Bama game this weekend to buy packets of purple and yellow wildflower seeds… ALOT of them! The strategy is for everyone to mix the seeds together and, once they are within 5 miles of Tuscaloosa on the interstate, get as close to the neutral ground as possible and throw the seeds out of their driver-side car window. The goal is that by the time spring rolls around (or whenever they will grow), Dick Saban will be forced to drive to work every single day through an ENTIRE FIELD of purple and gold REGRET-ME-NOTS! Causing him to painfully reflect on the aBAMAnation of a mistake he’s made by leaving LSU.

I’ve done some research, and this is totally possible (in fact, they already encourage this in some states to beautify the roadways). The best wildflowers in terms of height, chance of growing, surviving, spreading quickly/densely, and having the most effective color are as follows:

Yellow: Bird’s Foot Treefoil; Yellow Coreopsis
Purple: Purple Verbena

Now go to your local seed store, Home Depot, Horticulture Department (if anyone could tap this source it would be HUGE!), or wherever, and buy as many seeds as you can! There is quite a variety of yellow wildflowers and a few different kinds of purple wildflowers… so if you can’t find the specific types mentioned above, just grab whatever you can get that is purple and yellow! Just be careful with using dark purple and orange… we don’t want this looking like an Auburn prank.

So now you know, and you have NO EXCUSE to not participate, or at least make your friends participate if you are not going. The instructions are simple:

1. Buy as many purple and yellow wildflower seeds as possible (an equal amount of each).
2. Drive to Bama.
3. When you’re within 5 miles of TuscaLoser, chunk the seeds in the neutral ground!

* Remember – fire your jihadist jumble of germinating jellybeans AT RANDOM within the 5 miles of Tuscaloosa on the interstate… NOT the exact 5 mile mark. We want to cover as much ground as possible. Dispursing them with a steady series of tosses would actually be much better than throwing them all at once.

Easy enough, right? The tough part is getting EVERYONE in on this, so spread the word! Send out e-mails about it! Post it on chat forums! If you work for a news publication (and I know alot of you do), USE IT! Every single person invited to this group knows AT LEAST 2 people going to Bama this weekend… so there’s no excuse! Can you imagine the look on Saban’s poo-eating face, and the faces of all those unwarranted football snobs at Bama, when suddenly their entire interstate is purple and gold!!!!! Priceless… absolutely PRICELESS.

If we pull this off, it will be one of those things that will be talked about for years – the kind of thing that you’ll see on magazine covers, further setting LSU fans apart from the rest because, YES – we are willing to go THIS far.

Every little bit counts, so spread the word… and the SEED!

P.S. Don’t go telling your fruitcake Bama “friends” about this… we want it to be a TOTAL surprise!

Geaux Tigers,

Pike B.

Oh No!!!! What will we do with pretty flowers making our highways much more visually pleasing?! Why can’t President Bush stop the spreading of flowers!? WE MUST STOP THIS!!!! I know, we’ll give them a little taste of their own medicine next year! Baton Rouge could use a little sprucing up.

As a life long Tuscaloosa resident, I must say that their plan will probably fail since Saban doesn’t live near any interstate exit.

Wonder what they’ll look like? Here’s a look:

Read the rest of this entry »

Players In & Out

I’m in the library studying like a madman, so I’ll leave you with this simple update.

 It appears that the 5 players involved in the textbook situation won’t be playing this weekend. Can’t say I’m shocked, although it does hurt to have your all-conferece center out.

“Right now, we’re practicing like they’re not playing,” center Evan Cardwell said. “So that’s giving other guys a chance to step up.

“Everybody knows they’re interchangeable. (Offensive line coach Joe) Pendry makes that point every day, so everybody has got the right mindset.”

Caldwell and Davis — both starters on the offensive line — worked with the third-string line in drills during the media viewing period at the start of practice Wednesday.

Also, Coffee — the Tide’s second-leading rusher — wore No. 18 in practice Tuesday. Coffee was posing as LSU tailback Jacob Hester, who wears No. 18 for the Tigers.

Ryan Perrilloux appears to have been cleared, so he probably will be playing on Saturday. His team mates….. not so much.

Ryan Perrilloux will be cleared of wrongdoing in the nightclub incident last week. Sources tell us he will more than likely make the trip to Alabama. Derrick Odom and Jeremy Benton are expected to be dismissed from the team.

Ding!: Rush Propst Resigns

If you haven’t heard by now, Hoover High School head football coach Rush Propst has officially resigned after months of speculation. Rush’s exit can be attributed to the recent internal investigation performed by Judge Sam Pointer. This report released many damaging facts about Hoover and Rush, including news of a secret family living in Pell City. Propst will finish out the rest of the 2007 season as coach, but will take on another temporary role in the spring until the school year is over.

So, what does this news mean for Alabama football? Yes, I’m talking Bama pigskin and Rush Propst…. shocked yet? Don’t be, although this is purely speculation.

Let’s try to connect a few dots. John Parker Wilson is a 2004 graduate of Hoover. Earlier this season, Wilson was under fire for his up and down performances. Suddenly, Kevin Scarbinsky of the Birmingham News decided to give Rush Propst -Wilson’s former coach- a coincidental phone call. Rush pretty much started to kiss up to Saban and his staff, while defending Wilson at the same time.

At first glance, it seems like nothing more than a mediocre article about a coach defending his player. But, many different Alabama fans might just remember how many times Rush Propst’s name has been mentioned for an assistant coaching job in Tuscaloosa.

Rush’s name has been mentioned at Alabama for different reasons. Mike Price went on the Paul Finebaum show and mentioned Propst as a good candidate for an assistant coaching job (pre-destiny of course). After Nick Saban was hired at Alabama, he had a fairly long meeting with Propst, who has since publicly backed both Saban and Major Applewhite more than once.

Currently, Applewhite is the OC and QB coach. But, as the demands of being Nick Saban’s OC continue to grow on Applewhite, I’m starting to wonder if Rush would be a potentional QB coach candidate in the not too distant future. Am I sounding too crazy yet?

Here is one reason I have for this being a possibility: Applewhite is already starting to get his name mentioned for head coaching jobs (SMU being the first). If Saban were to bring in Propst as a Quarterbacks coach, he would have a local Alabama guy learning the offense and coaching JP Wilson (10 points for those of you who can make a connection here!). Then, once Applewhite eventually heads on to greener pastures, he’ll already have a guy in there who is used to his system. Propst could be promoted to co-Offensive Coordinator (or get the job by himself) and Saban would have some continuity on his staff. Nick already has one of Rush’s guys working for him (Jeremy Pruitt).

What are the chances of this actually happening? Well, a year ago I would’ve said there is a pretty decent shot. Now, after all of this secret lovers mess, I don’t know if it will actually happen or not. I’d still say there is a chance, but I have a feeling it has diminished. Besides, both Saban and Propst are control freaks. One has to wonder if Propst could handle a long term position as the 2nd fiddle.

Do I want this to happen? I really don’t care for the baggage Propst brings, so I would have to lean towards a no. But, it is fun to speculate….. right?

I’m sure I’ll get plenty of comments telling me I’m wrong. Just remember who controls the “delete comment” function……. *ding!*………… ME!

Gottfried’s Basketball Camp

When March rolls around and you wonder why the local media has yet to criticize Mark Gottfried’s team, don’t call into Finebaum screaming like you live in Green Hill (I’m just kidding, I’m sure G.H. is a rockin’ place). Instead, remember this media b-ball camp Alabama put on today. Watching a missed a lay-up could put these guys into a cold sweat. Special thanks to TideSports.com of the Tuscaloosa News.

Things Are Heating Up

It isn’t my place to discuss what occurs off campus for other programs. But, since it will have an impact on the game this weekend, I will point you to The Tiger’s Eye, an LSU fan blog that has this bar/club fight issue covered.

Need a refresher on Mr. Perrilloux? Here ya go:

MTSU isn’t Florida, but it’s still an impressive throw. This weekend seems to have the makings of a wild event.

Seriously?

I don’t claim to be the stud of all bloggers, but I certainly don’t think I am what the folks out in the country call “ugful”…. ugly and awful. But, it seems that Google thinks differently:

ugliest-person.jpg

Good to know you have my back Google. I would request a boycott, but I realize that would go nowhere fast. Oh well, I still have my charm to fall back on….. right?

(P.S: It’s actually because of THIS POST I made a few months ago.)

SEC Power Poll: Week 9

Even though Alabama took the weekend off, it appears that the SEC decided to go and force itself into one big mess. Multiple teams still have multiple shots at their divisions, although it is starting to sort itself out through attrition.

As always, please remember to visit Garnet and Black Attack on Tuesday to see the results of the SEC Power Poll. Here is my current ballot:

1. LSU

There was some kind of bar fight this weekend. Apparently the bouncers thought Coach Lester’s hat wasn’t “dope”.

2. Auburn

This was an odd game. Auburn had 400 yards of offense, yet only led Ole Miss by a TD with 3 minutes to go in the game. I know Tubby didn’t want a complex offense for Saturday, but you have to put the ball in the endzone when you rack up that much yardage.

3. Georgia

I really hope a Dawg fan pulled something similar to this on a Gator fan:

UGA fan- “HEY! Do you know him?”

UF fan- *looks around* “Know who?”

UGA fan- “KNOWSHON!!!” *high fives buddy frat boy in red pants and black shirt*

4. Florida

This defense has been getting by because their offense has been able to move the ball. They aren’t very good at stopping people.

5. Alabama

I have a feeling there will be extra security following the Saban family this weekend as LSU arrives in Tuscaloosa.

6. Kentucky

State is a dangerous team, but I have a feeling UK wasn’t expecting the bulldogs to show up after that WVU beating they took.

7. Tennessee

Fulmer is hanging on by a thread at this point. Good win from a seasonal standpoint, but they still have some weaknesses that could be exploited by Vanderbilt or Kentucky.

8. South Carolina

Two things kept South Carolina from winning. (1) They didn’t do jack in the 1st half. (2) A visor-less Spurrier was unable to shield his eyes from the high levels of orange in Neyland, causing him to lose focus on what plays to call during OT. Yes, even at night the Vol’s highlighter orange is uneasy on the eyes.

9. Mississippi State

They get a bye week after blasting Kentucky. Color me worried since their next game is Alabama.

10. Arkansas

Thank goodness for easy non-conference schedules.

11. Vanderbilt

One win away from a bowl game. Should be an interesting match-up against Tennessee.

12. Ole Miss

Thank goodness for Andy Kennedy and the defending SEC West champs in basketball.