There are people who want you to believe that Nick Saban has done some horrible things. Well, I am here to tell you that he has done everything that is rumored, even kicking Dan LeBatard’s dog. However, this is not the Nick Saban that Alabama fans know and love, for these misdeeds were done by Evil Saban. Luckly for the Tide, we currently have Good Saban by our side. Guess which Saban is the Good Saban.
So what are the qualities of Good Saban and Evil Saban? I’m glad you asked that. Good Saban believes in hard work, discipline, and Momma’s apple pie for dessert. Evil Saban believes in kicking puppies, saying bad things about 2002 Alabama (then losing), and telling falsehoods to the poor Miami media.
I didn’t believe this for sure, until I bumped into a Saban at the grocery store. It was Good Saban. When I asked which one was the coach at LSU, Good Saban replied “We used to take turns. It really depended if the team needed a good game plan by me, or a butt-kicking by Evil Saban.” This would explain multiple sitings of both Sabans.
When Evil Saban was finally tracked down, he fought to get away at first. But, after some hassle he told us, “When Miami came a callin’, Good Saban didn’t want to go. But I knew I could do it on my own, I didn’t need that loser. So I locked him in my Miami house and went to work for those wimpy Dolphins. Buncha pansies I tell ya. It’s their fault for losing, not mine!”
Good Saban was able to free himself and quickly accepted the job at Alabama. “I was able to get Evil Saban under control,” said Good Saban, “I’ve always wanted to coach in Tuscaloosa. It’s a dream job and Evil Saban won’t be allowed to ruin it.” Many of the Tide faithful are looking forward to the arrival of Coach Saban. Good Saban hinted that Evil Saban may show up every once in a while, but only when necessary.
Lucky for us there are only two Sabans…. right?